Nature is feminine; she cares about us. When we are approaching our sales process from a feminine approach, we care about what is good for the client, which doesn’t mean we don’t want to make a profit, but we don’t want to destroy others in order to make a profit. As a result, we listen deeply, the clients feel our sincerity, and they sign up with us.

Nature trusts life. A new mother never worries how the baby will grow (Nature never worries how trees will grow.) If we trust, and turn down a client and send them to somebody who may be better for them, we will be provided for. Nature believes the good always returns. When we give goodness, it returns in profit, happiness, and joy.

Of course, by first taking care of herself, nature is sensitive. In feminine sales process, the coach is sensitive to how people close down or fight back when they are pushed, so she doesn’t push. I think the biggest process in the feminine process is to be intuitive, so instead of what I learned from masculine sales approaches, qualify a client and close the sale. The same principle can be applied here but from a more intuitive and caring place.

A sales process is presenting your work to somebody and seeing if you are both a good fit to work together. Listen to the clients’ problems, see if you have the solution to their problems, and then present what you have to them. Usually, by the time somebody comes to a sales call, they have had some introduction to your work and now you are sitting together to see how you are suited to work together.

There are many aspects of modern selling that don’t feel good for people:

• Getting somebody to sign contracts they can’t get out of. As an example, they must stay in a program, even if it isn’t working for them.
• Blaming and shaming the clients if they don’t get results.
• Pressure selling with deadlines. ‘Sign up today!’ I would tell people if somebody says you must sign up today, it is better not to do it even if you lose the bonuses, especially if you are feeling hyped and excited.
• Adding somebody to the newsletter list without asking.
• People start selling without connecting, getting to know people, or finding out the needs of the other person.
• And when people don’t buy, the entrepreneur brushes it off by saying the potential client was just being resistant.
• Why do people do this?
• Some people have created lifestyles they need to maintain, so they do selling that isn’t good for everyone.

If selling has felt bad for you in the past, you will hesitate to sell. That will be true whether it was a selling experience you were on the receiving end of or the way you were taught to sell that didn’t feel good. Therefore, it is important to create a sales process that feels good. Sales is about serving other people and seeing if our gifts are a right match for the problems they are having. And if we sincerely feel we can help them, then we present them our offer.

Due to the hype in the industry about making money and selling high-end packages in particular, people are often shamed. If they can’t get the sales, there is something wrong with them, and that can sometimes block them from learning what they need to learn while feeling normal about not pushing people.

There are so many false promises that make people feel they can’t sell or are not as good as other people who are selling high-end packages. It is important to be aware of these myths and be willing to take the time to learn to sell in a way that feels authentic and good to us.

False Promise #1: “If you can’t get the sale, there is something wrong with you.”

What This Is:

A lot of sales approaches teach overcoming resistance and objections and, when people cannot, they are told they have done something wrong. I think, even if people do have resistance, we have to help them lean into their resistance and create safety for them to feel their resistance instead of thinking we need to force them to overcome it, particularly if it involves them paying us. We need to be sensitive in how we handle it.

How does it make it hard to sell:

At our core as human beings, we know pushing people against their will isn’t right. In nonviolent communication, they teach giving somebody advice without their permission is violent. If we are so fragile as human beings, then why shaming, pushing, or creating a fear-based marketing? Asking for consent and permission is a respectful thing to do and that includes not pushing people to buy.

The Truth: We are told we need to overcome people’s resistance and push them to buy. Educate people about their problem, show empathy toward their resistance, and invite them to buy instead of pushing them to buy. Get empathy-based sales training, gain some experience, and know if people say ‘no’ to their services, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. Maybe they need to qualify and reach the right people who need their services, maybe they need to educate people about the problem better, or maybe they need to present their solution in a way people understand.

“Honour Your Resistance.”

Honouring your inner hesitancy and working through it is okay instead of making someone else convince us what we are thinking and feeling isn’t right.

You are an expert on your life and anyone who creates safety for you and is compassionate and empathetic toward your resistance is the right person to work with.

False Promise # 2: “Money loves speed, making fast decisions is better, get the sale, get the deposit, send the contract, etc.”

What This  Is: This is a hype sell, not sustainable.

How does it make it hard to sell:

Even if somebody did manage to make any money by doing hyped selling, they will find it very difficult to ask for money after that.  It can ruin one’s reputation. One feels internal conflict and a feeling of cheating others and it doesn’t feel good.

The Truth: After getting an internal ‘yes,’ making a decision from a grounded place is much faster than just rushing the decision. If people buy fast and then sign a contract by being manipulated, they will very likely ask for a refund.

Feminine sales process is a sacred process. If people are pushed and shamed into questioning their worth without being shown care and compassion and then fierce love, we are pushing people, which is fear-based thinking, which is not aligned with the feminine and trusting process of nature.

False Promise #3: “If you don’t invest, you don’t believe in yourself and your worth.”

What This Is: This is a manipulative sales technique, and the needs of the sellers, not the buyers, are prioritized.

How does it make it hard to sell:

This is shaming people, which can make it difficult to ask for money if we are good people.  People know more about their desires than we do. We don’t know what they are struggling with, so we cannot judge their self-worth if they don’t say ‘yes,’ to our services.

The Truth: I think there is definitely value in investing in one’s self, but from a selling point of view, believing somebody not investing in my product means they are not worthy, is arrogant. I can feel sad for people if they are not in a place to invest and cannot take a leap and have compassion for their fear, but I cannot judge them for not having self-worth. It is hard to be scared. Sometimes it takes more energy and courage to be scared than it does to take action. “Rich people think differently.” They can, but that is because they have access to more resources and don’t have to worry about a lot of things. But people with less money can be more resourceful as well.

Making false promises is not a feminine sales process. Feminine is sensitive; she speaks of the process as she respects the environment and people in it and doesn’t want people to push their sensitive bodies to rush success.

False Promise # 4: “If you work hard, you can make six figures in the first   month in your business!”

What This Is: This is a very false promise that can put undue pressure on people.  It can take one month to get clear on their message, pick up their market, and create an offer. One needs practice and experience to confidently make six figures.

How does it make it hard to sell:

It will make it hard to ask for money because of the undue pressure one can place upon themself if they believe this.

The Truth: I know people personally who got a huge package from their previous job so they were easily able to invest over five figures in their business and, as a result, their success was faster than compared to somebody who may not have access to the funds. The person without access to funds may need to have a part time job or another way to support themselves while building their business. The time one needs to invest in building their business, especially if they have a family, is important as well. Don’t compare somebody’s outer success to your inner; not everyone starts at the same place. Some people start at the finish line and others at the starting line.

False Promise #5: “The more you charge the better you are and the better results they will get.”

What this is: Charging more without knowing how it will benefit our clients. Knowing what the value of what we are offering is and creating packages accordingly is a much better approach instead of assuming, because somebody has broken their back to pay for something, they will automatically get results.

Be sincere. As coaches, we need to be honest with our clients about the benefits of our work and what they need to do to do their part or we can’t have a sustainable business.

We need to stop over-promising and creating a false image of success by taking photos on the beach and having perfect hair and make up without sharing what it took to create those images. Tell them the truth about the time it takes to build a business and what goes on behind the scenes.

How does it make it hard to sell:

If it contradicts our own inner truth, we will have hesitancy to sell to someone from this approach, and even if we do for a short while, we will not be able to do it permanently.

The Truth: I believe it is okay to charge people who can afford it and if you believe in the value of what you are providing but not to assume charging more and more is the only way to make money and for people to get results.

At other times, people give their power to authority figures because they want to be rescued and they want someone to take away the injustices they experienced growing up. So, when some coaches (unintentionally) seduce people into life-purpose talks with a high-priced package in a room full of people where their belonging needs are being met without first qualifying them, they can easily feel all the past injustices will go away after this course without having done the trauma work that will actually take away injustices and open them up to benefit from the course they are purchasing.