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What I Mean By ‘Feminine’:
Since I am speaking of creating simple, feminine business models, it might be useful to understand what I mean by the word ‘feminine.’
Masculine and Feminine are often, but not always, rooted in our gender.
These differences aren’t always gender based either, but often, women have a feminine essence and men have a masculine essence. I work with women who have a feminine essence or are yearning to be in their feminine essence. It is not just based on socialization.
The masculine and feminine both have important roles in the world.
We just choose what role we prefer. Nature is feminine. We see a flow in nature. The flowers blossom perfectly at every turn of the season. When in healthy feminine essence, both men and women are connected to their heart and choose either community building or protecting the community based on their gender.
There are healthy and unhealthy sides to Masculinity and Femininity.
In my work, I am seeking to help women create business models rooted in the qualities of healthy femininity (column #1). Women can struggle to make money with ease if they move into any of the other columns as that isn’t their natural way of being. To make money from their feminine essence, for most women, but not all, the first column will be more satisfying, sustainable, and simple.
Healthy and unhealthy sides to Masculinity and Femininity:
Healthy Feminine
Collaboration
Radiant
Community
Gentle (Inner Strength)
Being
Knowing and Surrendering
Relationship
Emotionally nurturing the vulnerable
Nurturing
In touch with the needs of the community.
Shadow Feminine
Competition
Manipulative
Separateness
Victim
Stuck(Freeze)
Lack of Trust
Alone
Hurtful
People- pleasing
Destroying relationships within the community with gossip, etc.
Shadow Masculine
Pushy
Boastful
Alone
Aggressive
Workaholic
Restless
Lost
Abusive
Destroying
Dominating the weak
Healthy Masculine
Competitive
Confident
Self-reliant
Strong
Doing
Seeking
Purpose
Physically protecting the vulnerable.
Protecting
In touch with service of the weak
Masculinity and Femininity are inherent.
Most men and women are born with a certain essence. That essence tends to be more masculine or more feminine. I don’t mean things like cooking, cleaning, or survival kind of roles that are dumped on certain genders. I mean more the internal qualities one prefers as described in the chart above.
As an example, women can have a life purpose. They don’t have to choose to be mothers necessarily, however, often, their purpose will look different from men. A woman I know builds communities in Africa, is in touch with their needs, and works directly with kids and women.
She doesn’t have her own kids but is in touch with the needs of the communities she is serving. Men, driven by the energy of protection, may work to pay for different things in that community and may or may not work directly with the women and community building.
Women can pay and support the community financially as well, but will also more likely to see to their emotional needs along with paying for their financial needs, etc.
Men (sometimes, not always) need to be inspired by women to see things they may not see directly, unless they have gone through their own painful journey of some kind through being in touch with their own feminine heart.
Masculine is usually in service of the feminine. The way some well-developed men fight without giving up or getting emotionally affected by the criticism of others is a very well-developed masculine energy of protecting others they see need protection.
I, being a sensitive woman at heart, would personally shrink at the level of criticism they face and they are so willing to face it and fight for what they think is right. I let guys do that work and feel grateful that they are speaking up strongly and with conviction. I have a lot of respect for men like this. I also realize that these men are connected to their feminine side or they will not be able to support the needs of the vulnerable in the society.
The power Dynamics need to be balanced for both genders to thrive:
Women may have witnessed, men’s role in the family as more important as they earned money, etc., and they may have seen men as more powerful. It doesn’t have to be this way. Both men and women can earn money and own their personal power while being in their natural strengths
There are healthy and unhealthy versions of Masculine and Feminine.
These can be different in a fully-developed, feminine woman than in a woman who has experienced trauma and has let go of her natural strengths as it wasn’t safe to be in her natural essence.
The only way into the full expression of our essence is through the gateway of the other.
Women, too, need to go through their masculine side to fully step into their feminine, just like men need to go to their feminine side to fully be in a healthy masculine . Once she can develop masculine qualities needed for business, it gives her energy to relax into Goddess energy (which I believe is the highest expression of the feminine).
When women value profit over valuing relationships they can end up come across as pushy to achieve this success as pushing to sell or achieve success isn’t a natural way of our being:
In business, we all want to make a profit, but what I have noticed is that, when we stay focused on relationships and what is good for the client, we still make a profit but from a healthy place. In my feminine sales process, I teach women how to do that and they really enjoy sales conversations when they learn this.
Healing the fight Response and Collaborate:
Patriarchy has set us up historically to fight each other rather than to fight the real injustices in the world. Due to the injustice and unfairness that women experience in the world, this can lead them to fight with other women to succeed. We are afraid to fight the big guys so we fight with our sisters instead.
When we are stuck in ‘fight,’ usually, there is pain underneath wanting to be that way. It is possible to heal and come from a place of service while collaborating with other women.
Needs of the Community:
It is possible to use one’s career in service to the community as well as lean on the support of the community so we are not creating success alone. Too much independence can often be a trauma response where we learnt not to rely on other people. It isn’t sustainable to create a long lasting satisfying success alone.
Women are powerful in their own ways.
It doesn’t have to look and feel the same as it does for men. Women don’t seek power to control or destroy even when they are not fully developed into their feminine. It is important to recognize that and create personal power based on one’s true values. It is absolutely important that women do step into their power and do claim success, money and everything that represents power so they can support the world at large with their gifts.
Women also know where to spend money, always.
Women are in touch with the needs of a family and a community. Women can be very Godly when in their positive and given choices to make decisions. They just haven’t been given a lot of choices, historically. It is important to put money in hands of the women. Spiritual people need to make money. Women do too as they intuitively know the needs of the community and can do a lot of good given the choices and the money to spend.
If this way of being in the world to create a business speaks to you, subscribe to my newsletter to get my free ebook: ‘Your Feminine Business Model.’